TITLE: Adoptees & Non-Traditional Relationships

DESCRIPTION

This We the Experts features Adoptees in non-traditional relationships, this might mean poly, open, consensual non-monogamy, etc. Non-traditional relationships have been stereotyped in various ways that reduce the legitimacy or character of the relationship. When approached with honesty, respect, and communication, non-traditional relationships can be a place for individuals to find belonging in a world where the traditional narrative doesn’t feel like the right fit. The intersection of being an adoptee in a non-traditional relationship has so many layers of carving your own path, finding community outside of places that didn’t serve you, and redefining what relationships can look like.

How did learning about non-traditional relationships affect you?
As an adoptee who grew up in a non-traditional family, did that have an impact in your decision to seek out non-traditional relationships?
How does being an adoptee play a role in your relationship?
What would you like people to know about non-traditional relationships?

PANELISTS

Laura X. Williams (she/her) is a transracial only-child, Chinese American Adoptee who was adopted in 1995 at 7 months and grew up in New Jersey. She has been deeply exploring her multifaceted heritage and intentionally expanding her complex experiences since she was a teenager. Starting in studies of sociology, public health, and folklore, Laura has crafted an intersectional understanding of herself and her relationships as an adoptee navigating non-monogamous relationships in dialogue and practice. She practices systemic psychotherapy in Denver, CO. Laura looks forward to continuing the emergent conversation around adoptee centered relationships. She believes that meaning-making is at the heart of the human experience and is excited to integrate her understandings of love and belonging with other adoptees in non-traditional partnerships.

Kurt RuKim (He/Him) is a lover, wonderer, sex positive educator, and switch, who also happens to be a queer, cisgender, Korean adoptee. As someone who has learned to find comfort at the edges of belonging, Kurt embraces the art of beautifully failing to live in(to) the fullness of his own self-consent. A coy and sometimes dramatic social butterfly, Mr. RuKim consistently stumbles upon kindred spirits and finds his way towards other self-identified misfits. Kurt is excited to share about ALL the things he was told not to talk about at the dinner table.

Megan Pietra (she/her) joins us to share her personal experience in non-monogamy, having practiced polyamory with close friends and her ex-husband from 2019-2020, tried mono-poly, explored ethical non-monogamy, and is currently in an open monogamish relationship with her beautiful and loving partner of 2 years. She sees non-monogamy as an on-going learning experience and an enlightening, yet challenging, exploration. As an adoptee, she is currently navigating a reunion with her birth mom and planning to meet face-to-face this year. Megan is excited to be on this panel to meet other adoptees with similar lifestyles and to share some examples of what non-monogamy can look like for those who are curious or exploring.

Tina Goelz (they/them) is an international non-binary adoptee, born to a German mother and American father and adopted to a German family. They came to America in 2010 to reunite with their birth father. They are estranged from their extended biological family and never established a relationship with them. They have built a career around mental health services for marginalized populations. They are excited to talk on this panel about their journey as a polyamorous individual and how their experience as an adoptee has contributed to their establishment of a non-traditional relationship style and about non-traditional families and how it has helped them find peace as a relinquished & displaced person.

Alternate panelist: Cal Storrs (they/them) is an international, interracial, trans/non-binary, Chinese adoptee. They are passionate about trying to understand the adoption industry machine and how it ties into other global systems. Cal is one part of the team behind Marcescence Magazine, a publication working to address these topics and trace the movement of power in the adoption, foster care, and child welfare industries. Their interests include publishing, writing, and art-making as a liberatory practice, graphic design, and looking at the adoption, foster care, and child welfare industries through a critical sociological lens. Cal looks forward to learning more about how other folks in this community understand how they form relationships and attachments and how that can be intimately tied to our experiences of childhood separation from biological family. They are also excited to share a little about their developing understanding of asexuality with the audience.