TITLE: Adoptees Who Are Childless, Not By Choice

DESCRIPTION

This We the Experts features adult adoptees who are childless not by choice. These adoptees did not voluntarily choose to be childless; instead, they are childless due to situations beyond their control, such as infertility or other medical complications, the loss of a child, or life circumstances. This discussion will explore the nuanced emotional landscape of family building for a population that lacks biological mirrors, delving into the complexities of identity, family, and the familiar grief of not having a choice.

Topics of discussion will include:

• How has your adoption experience influenced your feelings about family and family building? 

• As an adoptee, what happened for you emotionally when you found out that you would be childfree not by choice? 

• How have societal pressures and expectations around parenthood affected you as an adoptee? Have you encountered any misconceptions/assumptions about your experience?

• What role has community played in your journey? Are there specific support systems or resources that you have found helpful in navigating your experience?

PANELISTS

Lee Hullender Rubin (she/her) is a Latinx-White adoptee and birth/first mother. She was adopted at the height of the Baby Scoop Era and rehomed at age 11. After enlisting in the military at 17, Lee faced an unplanned pregnancy -- two decades after her mother. Lee relinquished her daughter at the urging of her adoptive family. Both her birthmother and daughter died before they could reunite. Left holding the adoption thread at both ends, Lee now helps people have children. She is an internationally recognized, award-winning fertility acupuncturist and researcher. The intersection of her professional work as a fertility specialist with her lived experience as an adoptee and birth/first mother makes Lee excited to share her perspective on her experience being childfree after adoption and relinquishment.

Jen Hughes (she/her) is a domestic, same-race adoptee who was adopted at the end of the Baby Scoop Era.  Jen grew up in a closed adoption, but recently reunited with her first family.  Being in community with other adoptees is something Jen finds crucial to her journey.  As a result, she hosts an affinity group for middle school adoptees.  Jen lives in Austin, TX with her husband, and works as a dyslexia therapist in a small school.  When she's not working with kids, she's either knitting, gardening, or making pottery.  Jen is honored to be a part of this important discussion.

Taya Reed (she/her) is a Licensed Professional Counselor, specializing in couples therapy and adoptee support. With a Master's in Counseling, she utilizes various therapeutic approaches to empower individuals and couples to build stronger relationships. As a domestic adoptee and co-host of the podcast "I Found Her," Taya offers a unique perspective on adoption identity and family dynamics.Taya is excited to share her unique perspective as an adoptee and therapist on this panel.

Deidra "Dee" McGee (she/her) is a Late Discovery Adoptee and part of the Misattributed Parentage Community. She was blessed to be raised by her late adoptive parents and has been in reunion with both her maternal and paternal biological families.  Dee enjoys attending national adoptee support groups and is passionate about helping adoptees through their experience; transforming their lives through verbal communication, leading to visualizing and producing their desired goals.

As an experienced public speaker, she assists associates with enhancing their presentation and leadership skills. She has served in various leadership roles within Toastmasters International since 2004, and in 2021 was honored with the “Distinguished Toastmaster Award.” She has earned a BA in Rhetoric & Communications, an MS in Technical & Science Communication, and has completed a year-long Executive Potential Program. She’s been a panelist and moderator at several national conferences, written a blog for the Adoptee Voices' newsletter and has been interviewed on many adoptee podcasts and YouTube videos. In her spare time, Dee enjoys building connections and community through kindred spirits and enjoys food, fun  and fitness while working on her bucket list.

She is excited to be on this panel to tell her story of being a childless, adult adoptee and how she has added value and insight to the adoptee constellation and beyond.

Alternate Panelist - Schai Schairer (she/he, they/them), LMSW, is a passionate advocate for social justice, with a focus on adoptees and formerly incarcerated women. Born in Haiti and adopted in the U.S., Schai draws from her lived experience and expertise in trauma-informed care to support marginalized communities. She is the founder of F.I.S.T. LLC and creator of the Prison to Poetry Pipeline and other amazing programs. Schai has been recognized with numerous awards, including the 2023 Governor Wes Moore Service Award, and is committed to fostering systemic change through education, advocacy, and technology. Schai is honored to join the "Adoptees Who Are Childless, Not by Choice" panel to share her journey, foster understanding, and connect with others navigating this complex and often underrepresented experience.