TITLE: Adoptees Raised by Queer Parents

DESCRIPTION:

This panel explores the experiences of adoptees who were raised by queer parents and focuses on identity, connection, and belonging. Panelists will discuss the ways their family structures shaped their understanding of love, diversity, and relationships, as well as the challenges they faced navigating societal expectations. The conversation highlights the nuances of growing up in non-traditional families and the ways these experiences continue to influence adoptees and their identities.

Points to Ponder:

How might growing up in a queer family impact an adoptee’s identity?
How do adoptees’ experiences in queer households inform their own views on love, partnership, and family as adults?
In what ways might public perception of queer families affect adoptee experiences?
How does being adopted by queer parents impact an adoptee's decision to search for their birth/first family?

PANELISTS:

Saiming Wenger (she/her)

Saiming Wenger is a transnational adoptee from China. She was adopted into a queer white family, who later adopted a second daughter from China a few years after Saiming. Adoption Mosaic has been part of Saiming’s life for almost as long as she can remember; her parents enrolled her in the kids’ workshops when she was in elementary school, and she later volunteered with the organization in high school. She is excited to continue being involved with Adoption Mosaic and to discuss and listen to other adoptees who were adopted with queer parents.

Winnie Hartman-Gross

Winnie is a transracial adoptee from India. At the age of 2.5, she was adopted by a white, lesbian couple and was raised in Washington D.C. Back in the 90s, homosexuality was not accepted like it is today, so she had to deal with many challenges having lesbian parents, and faced many hardships in school and relationships with people. Now that there is more acceptance, she's been more comfortable with telling people about her parents and being adopted by a lesbian couple. It took a lot of work, but she is able to have open conversations about being adopted, her birth family, and culture with them. For a career, Winnie does nails and specializes in nail artistry. She also has a major passion for mental health and suicide awareness. She hopes to bring her perspective of the value of having hard conversations in order to have a meaningful relationship with your adopted child. She hopes her experience will bring more knowledge to gay and lesbian couples that want to adopt.

Maya Austen (she/her)

Maya was adopted from China in 1995 by a lesbian couple who moved from a small rural town in Michigan to Portland, Oregon, so she could grow up in a more diverse community. She was raised by feminist, “hippie” parents who encouraged her to become whoever she wanted to be, while supporting her in navigating her adoptee identity. Maya works in marketing for a mission-driven organization and lives in Portland with her boyfriend and their pets. She has found grounding and joy in her queer Asian friends. Today, she reflects on belonging as something shaped through connection, rupture, and finding one’s way back. Exploring the nuances of identity—including intersectional trauma, creative healing, and pride—has been central to building a life outside traditional definitions. Maya is cultivating a stronger sense of self and looks forward to exploring what family, identity, and freedom can mean in conversation with the other panelists.

Kai Pearl (he/they)

Kai was transracially adopted by their two moms at 4 months old. They grew up in Boston, MA surrounded by a community of other Chinese adoptees with two moms. They join this panel excited to discuss the nuances of queerness/queer parenting and how it shapes identity development and world view of an adoptee.

Kai’s life experiences around and within queerness have fundamentally shaped how they see the world and what they are passionate about. Professionally, Kai is a massage therapist and somatic practitioner. They work with the understanding that fundamental challenges and identity struggles of adoptees, trans and queer people, and other marginalized identities create a dis-embodiment and disconnectedness within. In their work, they are passionate about creating safe, attuned healing spaces where individuals can explore their relationships to themselves and their bodies, and rebuild their sense of self, empowerment, and agency.